+++++++++++++++ This Sort of Shit Is Why I Carry a Grenade Launcher About my Person at all Times +++++++++++++++
Part two: I Just Can't Seem to Keep the Worms Out of my Office!
You are planetary governor Frederick Rotbart, and by the mysterious workings of the God-Emperor of Mankind (along with the even more mysterious workings of His perennially incompetent Administratum), you have been placed in charge of the hellworld, Avernus. It has been nine years since your arrival, and you take a moment to reflect on how well you have risen to the task, against all expectations, your own included.
You are sitting in your office, taking advantage of one of the approximately annual lulls in your schedule to spend a while in reflection. You are startled out of your reverie by your Kasrkin bodyguard, Ajax, who suddenly leaps away from the wall he was leaning on with a cry of alarm. Before you can ask him what the problem is, it becomes obvious, as a two-mouthed head, one meter in diameter, bursts through the stone wall where once he stood. Robbed of its lethal force by his timely leap, the burrowing gnaw-worm, to which the head belonged, nonetheless strikes him in the small of the back, sending him sprawling. The worm extends further into the tunnel, and rears up, preparing for another lunge against the stricken Ajax, who struggles to rise, having landed poorly.
After sounding the alarm, you cast about your office desperately searching for a weapon with which to help, but come up short. You had, in what now seems the height of hubris and folly, assumed your office to be safe, and neglected to keep any weapons of your own here. Before Ajax can right himself and bring his hellgun to bear on the creature, it lunges, the large, grinding teeth of its lower mouth chewing through his weapon in an instant, and making a good start on his carapace armour as it slams him against the opposite wall. Before you really know what you are doing, you are on your feet, rushing over to Ajax's side, and bringing down your heavy illusory pine wood chair on the head of his assailant. Startled by the unexpected assault, it recoils, allowing its victim to slump to the floor, knocked momentarily insensate by its prior attack.
The sound of running feet, which had been growing louder for some time, precedes the arrival of another of the kasrkin, armed with a grenade launcher, which he promptly aims at the gnaw-worm. Guided by his expert hand, a krak grenade flies out of the barrel, landing dead-centre in the still-open mouth of the gnaw-worm. The grenade detonates, fatally crushing its head in a powerful implosion.
The threat averted, the kasrkin calls out "Are you alright, sir?". "Well, I'm alright but it's Ajax That-" You respond, but are cut short as a second worm bursts from the floor, easily shredding his leg, making him cry out in agony, and drop his weapon. You surge forward to retrieve it, even as the worm starts greedily devouring the Cadian's torso. You fire twice, a pair of krak grenades striking the worm where its length exits the floor, raggedly bisecting it. Alas, its death comes too late for your erstwhile saviour, what remains of him dropping from the lifeless jaws of the gnaw-worm.
You back into the corridor outside your office, keeping the launcher trained at the room, in case any more arrive. You are joined by increasing numbers of guardsmen, drawn by the alarm and the sounds of combat. "It seems that the solid stone of the mountain is not as impermeable as we thought, and we have paid the price for our laxity" you say by way of explanation. "Someone get me a priest, a janitor, and a team of workmen to redecorate my office in a nice shade of iron plates."
Looking down at the grenade launcher in your hands, you add "And a reload. I have a feeling that I had best hold onto this."
(С) Skewfiend, Sufficient Velocity