Приют упертого нанохопоклонника — @дневники: асоциальная сеть

воскресенье, 13 апреля 2014

20:48

Это и впрямь все объясняет

Дани Даркблейд, вредный полугоблин (ака Ал103)

Futurama Fic Plot Bunny

In "Benderama" The only members of the military who responded to the giant monster that landed were Zapp and Kif... On a whole planet of drunk people. And Zapp was actually being pretty heroic and competent, and making quips that were... Dare I say it... Funny.
Intentionally funny I mean.

He didn't succeed in stopping the giant but he was putting actual, heroic effort out there.

Which gave me... A crazy idea.

What if Zapp Brannigan is a true awesome space hero, as great as the legends say he is? Intelligent, decisive, awesome...

BUT ONLY WHILE DRUNK?

Alas, this is unknown to everyone else. And when new anti-hard liquor regulations are passed on the Earth military, Zapp tries to keep up. However...

Imagine Kif Croaker, young ensign, top of his class, gets a chance to work for THE Zapp Brannigan! Greatest Space Hero! As his personal assistant!

Kif then notices his captain seems to drink a lot, and being concerned for his well being, removes the alcohol per regulations.

And Zapp Brannigan the dunce... Is revealed.

It would fit with Kif's life that he's responsible for his own terrible fate, after all.

(C) AndrewJTalon на forum.spacebattles.com

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вторник, 25 марта 2014

15:48

Как некоторые просят отбетить главу:

Дани Даркблейд, вредный полугоблин (ака Ал103)

"Seraviel, myth from olden net times. A powerful author who wanted to rule Internet, defeated by the elements of Fiction and imprisoned in the Lag. Legend has it that on the longest post of the biliionth thread, the Trolls will aid in his escape, and he will bring lagtime eternal!" the first recited.

"No!" one poster screamed. "We must do something."

"Quick, look for posts about the Elements of Fiction."

There was a long moment as everyone took everything out of the pages.

"There isn't anything!"

"We're doomed!"

An oppressive pressure fell on everyone.

"The Elements of Fiction: A Reference Guide," a lurker read.

Everyone turned to him. "How did you find that?"

"It was under 'E'" the poster sang.

"There are six elements of Fiction, but only five are known: Characterization, Plot, Setting, Grammar and Punctuation. The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said, the last known location of the five elements was in the Creative Writing Section of the Forum. It is located in what is now-"

"SpaceBattles." The reader intoned gravely.

"But!" a poster said. "But even the greatest Betas never come out!"

"We must chance it." another said, serious. "Who will come with me?" (С) Seraviel, Spacebattles.com

BY YOUR ELEMENTS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN PROOFREADER! (C) Stratagemini, Spacebattles.com

PS. И предыдущий:

“The Draft cannot be destroyed by any program that we here have installed. The Draft was made in the fires of the Internets. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into SpaceBattles and cast back into the forgotten thread from whence it came,” the eldest said, his tone grave. “One of you must do this.”

“One does not simply log into SpaceBattles.” the first replied. “Its homepage is guarded by more than just Trolls. There are flamewars there that do not sleep. And the great Mods are ever watchful. It is a corrupted webpage, riddled with flames and memes and pictures of cats. The very words you read are poisonous. Not even with ten thousand accounts could you do this. It is folly!”

“Have you read nothing he has posted? The Draft must be destroyed!” the second yelled.

“And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?!”a third started.

“And if we fail, what then?!” The first added. “What happens when the BROB takes back what is his?!”

“I will be deleted before I see the Draft in the hands of a Lurker!” the third said. “Never trust a Lurker!”

“Do you not understand that while we chat amongst ourselves, the BROB's power grows?!” Wildbow intervened. “None can escape it! You'll all be purged!”

“I will take it! I will take it!” Seraviel screamed

“I will,” he said. “I will take the Draft to SpaceBattles. Though-- I do not know the forum, nor the thread.”

“So be it, then!” the eldest said, turning to the assembled posters. “Who else shall join the Fellowship of the Draft? What Beta has the strength of will to join on this quest?” (С) Seraviel, Spacebattles.com

@настроение: ROFL

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четверг, 20 марта 2014

10:43

Дани Даркблейд, вредный полугоблин (ака Ал103)

По поводу запрета абортов...

Чем сложнее сделать аборт - тем больше младенцев будут выкидывать на мусорку, в выгребные ямы и прочее.

Проблема то не в том, что кто-то может сделать аборт, а в том, что кто-то (за)хочет сделать аборт. И таких с каждым днем все больше и больше и дело тут даже не в воспитании, хотя и в нем тоже.

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суббота, 15 марта 2014

19:34

Из одной игры...

Дани Даркблейд, вредный полугоблин (ака Ал103)

"Люди, давайте не будем лезть на запад, орки это не проблема, а вот скавены на границе это жопа! И вообще расширяться на восток проще, там еще долго только орки!"
"Скавены далеко и под землей, они к нам не полезут *blah blah blah lebensraum*"

Ну в общем Скавены оказались не далеко и не под землей и не оценили приближение границы Виссенланда к их хатке...

И что теперь с этой жопой делать непонятно.

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пятница, 14 марта 2014

11:01

БоянЪ конечно...

Дани Даркблейд, вредный полугоблин (ака Ал103)

Но хи-хи вызывает.

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понедельник, 03 марта 2014

06:47

Дани Даркблейд, вредный полугоблин (ака Ал103)

Фикбук заебал со своим котенком. И нет, не падением сайта.

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воскресенье, 02 марта 2014

12:26

Не мог не утащить

Дани Даркблейд, вредный полугоблин (ака Ал103)

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пятница, 28 февраля 2014

07:37

Warhammer Dynasty

Дани Даркблейд, вредный полугоблин (ака Ал103)

Strange women handing out swords is no basis for a system of governance! Instead we should have a majority vote taken from ten feudal warlords, a pope, two half popes, a viking pope and a hobbit! (C) GM

@настроение: ROFL

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суббота, 15 февраля 2014

12:53

Моя ржаль!

Дани Даркблейд, вредный полугоблин (ака Ал103)

Aiming for the sun is annoying, as you have to perfectly cancel the Earth's orbital velocity while imparting a substantial sunward velocity. Any deviations from Levi's shadow surfing will throw that into a highly eccentric orbit that you just know Simurgh would tweak so Levi dives back to Earth in ~1 years time (it's a short orbit so getting the right harmonic isn't too hard). Better to go for a 60+km/s exit to the west (splitting the distance between the sun and the horizon, unless it's afternoon, in which case, things get complicated), and if you can, bank him off of one of the outer planets in a gravity slingshot to make it harder to kill off the extra 30km/s he would need to get into a non escape orbit. Jupiter isn't in the right spot for that at the moment, and I don't feel like looking up the positions of Saturn, Neptune or Uranus on 2011-05-15 to see if any of them are options. (С) GryMor, forums.spacebattles.com

Spacebattles: Where the orbital mechanics of launching an opponent into the sun are not just discussed, but better alternatives are given. (C) E.I.G., forums.spacebattles.com

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11:48

Дани Даркблейд, вредный полугоблин (ака Ал103)

WHO THE FUCK THINKS THAT HUGGING EYE OF AUTOCHTHON IS GOOD FUCKING IDEA???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:apstenu:

UUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
:hang:

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пятница, 14 февраля 2014